When I write an article, mostly, I can complete it immediately if an idea strikes me all of a sudden. On the contrary, there are times when I know I need to write yet words do not come at all. I am left blank, staring at the laptop screen for hours. Most onlookers presume something is wrong and if anyone feels concerned enough to ask, I just smile and deny anything being not right. Silently, I pray to Goddess Saraswati, responsible for speech, wisdom and learning, to be kind and generous but she, it seems, has been engaged by other prayers at that moment. My turn? When?
I really don’t know how to explain and hope against hope in such situations for the avalanche of words to crash over me. How much I am ready to welcome any idea, any suggestion provided it clicks with me! How I wish words to snowball and magnify the aura of my intellectual (?)* and verbal persona (?)* in greater degrees than ever before!
There is big BUT and the mother of all troubles is that on such wicked days, nothing appeals and despite inviting suggestions from varied sources or trying to soak in thoughts from the variants of the ambience, my mind negates them all and I have to re-sit with a sullen face held between two palms or go back to doing routine stuff. Despite my love for cooking, it is cooking that irritates me most if I am not able to generate any idea for writing soon when I want to write the most. The resultant food soaks in the flavor always.
It baffles, teases, gets on my nerves to be blank after exercising my grey matter for hours only to yield a zero in return. At least a zero has tremendous value if it is added without any decimal into my salary slip. But what about my useless mind (?) *. My pathetic condition cannot even find a proper epithet as vocabulary remains constipated enough to loosen up for it. How I wish there were ‘Kayam Choorna’ or any of its substitutes for handling this malady!
I feel like giving up. My inner voice echoes-‘find inspiration’ and I respond- ‘you fool, what else you think I have been trying to do precisely since hours. You shut up.’
I start humming- Words don’t come easy to me/How can I find a way/to make you see …?
I am reminded of something- following Chetan Bhagat’s success with Five Point Someone and the other three novels, a lot of engineers and MBAs suddenly awakened to the fact that even they could/can write. As a result, in the last few years, the market has seen mushrooming of several new writers from IITs, IIMs, other engineering/ management institutions and from the corporate. A healthy trend, I must say. Reading and writing can be immensely satisfying. Writing purges emotions in such ingenious (at times even the opposite is true) ways that can surprise or shock the writer himself/herself at times. It can de-stress and unleash a wave of hidden creative potential.
Writing a new article, for me, reverberates the feeling a novice has at trying his/her hand at pottery-making and coming up with an earthen pot, albeit out of shape the first time. The sense of achievement at seeing even the distorted outcome is indescribable. Practice is the mantra, the key to becoming a success at anything. Writing is easy but good writing is tough. Very tough. As I write this, my mind echoes – ‘so you managed to find at least some words for this article. Clever’.
I quieten my mind’s voice again and thank the readers for their patience. Signing off with few questions: how do you proceed with any article? Do you have days of word-drought too? Do you finish writing at once or take it up bits by pieces? Share your modus operandi please so that lesser mortals like me could learn and benefit.
(?)*- question mark by my inner self.